Following on from yesterday, here's my attempt at some new commandments for the cultured middle class.
1. Do not walk down the street holding coffee.
2. Don't use the internet for recreation or to alleviate boredom, unless you are at work.
3. Only communicate with the people you care about directly, never address them as an undifferentiated mass. (aka Thou shall not tweet or post status updates)
4. Never queue more than 20 minutes to eat.
5. Directly help the most deprived in your community, preferably in a way that doesn't use any of your professional skills. If you really can't spare the time, donate to a local charity and carefully read all of the literature it sends you.
6. Only read the Guardian once a week.
7. Refrain from celebrating gentrification. Don't eat or drink in the most gentrified place on your high street.
8. Be price-sensitive: don't buy things that seem unnecessarily expensive.
9. Spend time in local working class spaces and learn to be respectful towards such spaces and comfortable within them. Remember that multiculturalism includes indigenous class cultures as well as immigrant cultures.
10. You always look undignified when checking your phone. Never let anyone see you do it.
These are great. I particularly like number 10.
ReplyDelete"4. Never queue more than 20 minutes to eat." 20!! Mr London.
For 5 I'm not sure about the "preferably in a way that doesn't use any of your professional skills". This could get uncomfortably close to the accountants build a school in africa model where the volunteering is built around fun for the volunteer, not fulfilling needs efficiently. (i.e. pay for some African builders. If you want to help, do their accounts.)
So I'm saying that if you're an accountant, give advice to your local charity, or do their books. If you know about PR, offer PR services. They need those more than your physical labour, even if you think that lugging stuff about more authentic.
Other than that I could put these into practice and my life would certainly improve.
Yeah that's a clunky one, wouldn't make the final five. I guess what I'm getting at is being against the phony "win-win". Don't offer PR services just because you are good at PR and you can help people while helping your CV. Maybe PR is toxic. Maybe inefficiency is next to godliness. Humiliate yourself, work ten notches below our ability. But yes, not in a play acting way.
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