Sunday 22 June 2014

Switching allegiance

Bosnia are out of the cup already!! Iran still have a faint chance so I think I'll get behind them. I hope Iran wins and loads of Iranians go crazy and drink illicit booze and play punk records and hold hands with the opposite sex and all that. I reckon Salvador will be full of Iranians going for it, leaving the headscarf in the hotel room and knocking back a few caipirinhas. Essentially I am making a drunk hipster neocon case for supporting Iran.

Brazil is exceeding expectations, although I am looking forward to heading up the coast to Salvador as it is definitely winter in São Paulo.

PS newspaper cartoon in Fohla de São Paulo: "Uruguay has done in 90 mins what Argentina could not do in 200 years: kick out the English pirates". Oooooh!


Thursday 12 June 2014

Closing Ceremony

The Countdown to the 2014 World Cup in Brazil is almost done, the World Cup starts today. I'll drop in from time to time to give you some updates, but the purpose of the blog has been fulfilled. I am genuinely surprised at how much I've enjoyed the discipline of daily updates, and how much writing has helped me think things through.

My break started properly when I returned from holiday in China last September. I tried to give myself space, space away from the world of corporate ghosts, in order to discover a new path. I became desperate at points. Ultimately, the magic 8-ball said, "Ask again later".

I have to return to the world of ghosts for a while, but I'm going to maintain a golden thread back to this space. I will develop technical skills in home fermentation, needlepoint tapestry and brewing. If these don't work out I'll find other technical skills, but they're a good start. I will read the complete works of Bruno Latour and continue to follow contemporary sociology. I will seek opportunities to volunteer in my local community. My emotions have felt closer to the surface in recent weeks, I want to keep them there - I will continue to read the modern classics of Japanese literature. Moving to Bath or Bristol will require me to find a new tai chi teacher - I will use this as an opportunity to rededicate myself to my tai chi practice, as I have become very complacent. I will continue to study the key religious texts of Taoism, even if my studies are hopelessly warped by my status as a Westerner. I will obey the Five Nevers as much as possible. I will halve my drinking. I will find a way to continue making and performing music. Hopefully, I will buy my wife a dog.

By doing all this, I will construct a sort of spaceship or spacesuit that will keep me well supplied with oxygen as I navigate the world of ghosts. This protective layer will stop me from confusing the ghost world with the real world. It will give me a fighting chance of eventually escaping the ghost world completely.

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday 11 June 2014

Housekeeping

UPDATE #1

I spent so much time writing this morning's post that I missed my train by three minutes and had to shell out £31.50 for another single. I took the 10.58 Overground from New Cross Gate to Canada Water, which was actually delayed until 11.02. I had arrived at the station and collected my tickets at about 10.45, but the 10.52 train to London Bridge had been cancelled. At Canada Water I changed from the Overground Line to the Jubilee Line. This is one of the quickest changes you can make; the design of the station has been praised by the CEO of Hong Kong's MTR metro system for its efficient use of space. I caught the westbound Jubilee Line train at around 11.12, at this point all but resigned to missing my advance-booked 11:30 train from London Paddington to Bristol Temple Meads. I boarded one of the middle carriages through the double doors, walked a few feet forwards and then turned to face the doors through which I'd entered. On a square-shaped train carriage I would have leant against the opposing set of doors, but as the Jubilee Line trains have curved carriages, I hunched over a little while reading some documents related to my imminent job interview. I would have preferred to stand right in the middle of the carriage where I can stand fully upright, but a man had boarded behind me and occupied this space.

At London Bridge, Steve Coogan boarded the train with a male companion. He was wearing a dark grey suit with faint, thinly spaced pinstripes, very similar in design to my own, as well as sunglasses. His companion was shorter and wore a beard: I did not recognise him. Steve Coogan did not move far from the door - rather, he tucked himself into the small space left of the train door, near the button that opens the door.


He faced the door of the train, thus using the aquamarine column that hosts the door-open button to obscure his face to anyone standing or sitting to his left. His companion stood to the right, in front of the door, thus largely obscuring Steve Coogan's face to anyone standing or sitting to his right. The only people in a good position to notice Steve Coogan were me and the man who had boarded behind me and was now occupying the central part of the door space. He had his back to Steve Coogan, however, and was thus providing him with extra cover to other potential onlookers. 

The train stopped at Southwark, and the man got off. I moved slightly closer to Steve Coogan, stretching to my full height in the middle of the carriage and continuing to look down at the documents I had with me. As the man got off and new passengers got on, Steve Coogan turned his head away from the door as people boarded the train, brushing straight past him. His companion tilted his body so as to subconsciously manoeuvre new passengers away from Steve Coogan. I was checking the expressions of the new passengers faces to see if they had registered Steve Coogan's presence, but they did not seem to. Steve Coogan and his companion repeated this tactic at Waterloo with the same results. They spoke in low voices throughout the journey, I did not pick up a single word.

I now believed myself to be the only person in the carriage aware of Steve Coogan's presence. This felt to be something of a responsibility, as Steve Coogan had obviously taken such care to remain unnoticed. I shifted my posture very subtly, under the guise of the natural movements of the train, to further conceal Steve Coogan from anyone over my left shoulder. Finally, Steve Coogan disembarked at Westminster, three stops after London Bridge. He stepped to his right and seemed to pause, half-facing the train, as if to allow the passengers a glimpse of his face now that he was safely off, and then continued right towards the exit. 

UPDATE #2

The interview went fairly well, I don't have a special feeling about it but the whole thing felt comfortable, I wasn't lost for words or anything. The people seemed pleasant, one of them used to work at my old company, although we didn't overlap. I was worried that a really bad interview would leave me stewing all during Brazil, but this was perfect - it made the future feel more concrete without unsettling me. It was also great to physically visit Bristol (on an amazing day for it as well) and go through Bath on the train, I felt very calm and happy about being there. I even had warm feelings about being on First Great Western trains - I'm suddenly noticing their "Be a Great Westerner" ads everywhere in London.

UPDATE #3

I just posted a really banal tweet on Twitter, which may seem to break one of the Five Nevers. It was purely for the benefit of the people who just interviewed me, who are probably googling me. From now on, you should basically assume that my Twitter feed is my Linkedin page. Don't judge me. What a terrible world, though, that I would feel the need to do this. 

Declaring for Bosnia & Herzegovina


I had a quick look at this fun graphic thing in the Wall Street Journal, the "World Cup of Everything Else". Iran wins quite a few things, e.g. most married women, most Muslims, highest consumption of tree nuts, highest traffic death rate. I also had an Iranian on my MA course and went to her Persian New Year party in the year when the Guardian was suddenly hyping being the only non-Muslim at a Ramadan party, which made me feel slightly ahead of the curve.



I think I kind of like Iran, it seems a case of good people, bad government. Even their (very unpleasant) government seems to have a sense of humour in how they wind up the UK and US, unlike, say, the tiresome high camp of North Korea. I like their food too, what little I've tried of it.

But I think I'm going to have to go for Bosnia and Herzegovina. They only win one of the WSJ's World Cups - unemployment, a staggering 44.3%. There were serious riots in Bosnia in February, dubbed the Bosnian Spring, which I must confess completely passed me by. Bosnia has pretty much been victim to the classic post-communist disease of having all the state assets sold off to dodgy characters who then strip the assets and screw the workers.

They also have a fascinating political structure: the Federation of Bosnia and Herzegovina accounts for only 51% of the land mass of the country "Bosnia and Herzegovina", with the rest taken up by semi-autonomous regions. I don't have time to explain it in full but check out the Wiki page. There is also the High Representative of the international community who can bypass parliament and fire elected officials - Paddy Ashdown was one for a bit. That office will remain until Bosnia and Herzegovina can prove that it is grown up enough to run itself properly.

So yeah, I feel like B&H getting out of the group stages will mean a lot to the country - they are also the only one out of them and Iran likely to even have a shot, and I'll be watching the final group stage match. So while Iran are technically the underdog in the head-to-head, I'm supporting Bosnia & Herzegovina as the underdog in the broader sense.



Also check out this flag!


I mean what the fuck is going on here? It's really long, a 1:2 proportion, very rare. I love the half stars on the top and bottom, thinking outside of the box there.

Tuesday 10 June 2014

Interview tomorrow

Interview tomorrow with a PR agency in Bristol - not a particularly fantastic opportunity but worth the practice. So far job searching is great out west, there are consultants who actually find vacancies for you and give you tips etc. Interest from two agencies so far although I can tell one has the wrong idea about me, I don't see it working. They think because I have been freelancing that I will have loads of contacts and clients that I can bring to them, when in fact I have really been working as a remote worker more than a proper freelancer. I don't know anyone!!

It's a good reminder that this isn't necessarily going to be easy just because I'm leaving London, there are certain gaps that I need to account for - particularly, the fact that all the work I've done pretty much has been in Asia, and in six years as a PR I've probably picked up the phone to journalists less than 20 times. Someone more junior always did it for me. A nice editorial job would probably be more up my street, but I'm not sure if they exist or exactly what they are - will take a closer look after the WC. I fly pretty much this time next week! I have a strange mix of nerves right now, partly job interview, partly World Cup, partly from a heavy weekend. To be honest I would have been just as happy to leave the whole first interview thing until after the WC but fuck it, what can you do.



Went to Stratford Westfield with Jess to buy some shorts and some summer shoes that I can wear without socks (those bullshit ankle socks always slip under my feet and drive me mental). Bought some shoes from Aldo that appear to be made of cardboard, glue and linen, not sure how long they will last - they might be espadrilles, I don't know the terminology. Had a can of Ting and some tortilla chips with Jess in the Las Iguanas overlooking the Olympic Stadium, getting in the Brazilian mood. I like the Westfield, it's kind of relaxing compared to Oxford Street or wherever.

God I love how boring this blog post is! Feels like a good sign.



Monday 9 June 2014

WORLD CUP WORLD CUP WORLD CUP

I see that the Guardian has now launched its own countdown to the World Cup blog, stealing my idea. It's finally dawning on me that it's really happening - I spent an hour or so yesterday watching previews on Grantland and getting into it. The Men in Blazers guys on Grantland are pretty funny, actually.

Flying next Tuesday, staying overnight in Paris and then over to Sao Paulo on Wednesday morning. Have done zero research into Brazilian culture or things to see - my sister-in-law and travel companion Lindsey has a Lonely Planet, I'm just going to go with the flow. I might go a bit more safe and touristy than I normally would in, say, China, given the crime and political instability - I'm kind of avoiding developing any kind of "must see" list so that I don't end up taking unnecessary risks. I keep reminding myself that people do actually visit Brazil all the time, it's not like I'm going to North Korea. I also have a contact in Sao Paulo from Goldsmiths who might be able to show us around a little.

I saw a great documentary at the Greenwich Picturehouse about a slum clearance project in Salvador, where I'm going to watch Bosnia & Herzegovina vs Iran (Lindsey will be leaving her Team USA scarf at home for that one), it looks absolutely beautiful.


The whole West Country plan is really helping as well - for a while I was worried that I wouldn't even be able to enjoy Brazil because it would be impossible to shut out job anxiety. I think it's going to be fine now, my mind feels much clearer.

Sunday 8 June 2014

Safe Disregard #9: "Once and Never Again" by the Long Blondes





This is the last one - I know Belle and Sebastian's later work pretty well but not the earlier, other than that I can't really judge any other bands with any authority. Let's hear yours though.

Safe Disregard #8: "My Heart and the Real World" by The Minutemen





Just a few more of these, I don't actually know that many bands that deeply

Safe Disregard #7: "The Hymn For The Cigarettes" by Hefner





Nearly put "Hello Kitten", an early single, but actually I think the tragedy of Hefner is that they never topped that song.

Safe Disregard #6: "The Beach" by Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers





This relates to Jojo's solo career, not the first Modern Lovers record which is a whole different thing.

Safe Disregard #5: "Cities" by Talking Heads





Talking Heads are maybe too big a band to do a safe disregard for.




Saturday 7 June 2014

Safe Disregard #4: "I Love You" by CSS





I think this is a great example - it makes total sense to say "I like 'Let's Make Love and Listen to Death from Above' but not the rest of CSS" - but I don't know how you could *only* like this CSS song and not the others.

Safe Disregard #3: "Transport Is Arranged" by Pavement





If you are undecided, try "Black Out" by Pavement.

Safe Disregard #2: "(Do Not Feed The) Oyster" by Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks

Apropos of nothing

Hakuho Sho, the greatest sumo wrestler of his generation, with a falcon:


Just discovered he has his own blog! I love this guy: Al once posed the great pub question, who is the best sportsperson you've ever seen compete in person, for me it's Hakuho and his great rival Asashoryu, back in 2009. A niche sport, obviously, but they are both regarded as the most dominant champions for a long time.

The most recent entry is very sad, he took some flack for skipping the most recent post-tournament press conference (he won his 29th title, the record is 32, held by Taiho, the Japanese equivalent of Babe Ruth, who died last year) but it turns out his wife had lost their fourth child on Day 13 of a 15-day tournament. Here he is winning on Day 15 - the crowd all want him to lose so that there will be a playoff against a Japanese wrestler:



Safe disregards: a less annoying way of recommending music

Looks like me and Al both woke up in the mood for music posts today! Looking forward to tackling his once I've had a coffee.

But anyway here's my very simple idea: recommending music (or indeed, any culture) to friends of our age is a delicate matter, as the very recommendation itself is often enough to put you off. What, another thing I feel obliged to go pay attention to?? But hey, it would be shame if we never talked about what we liked, or ever recommending anything ever.

I was talking to a friend who didn't like Breaking Bad, didn't really get it. I said give it a chance. He said he was well into series two - I said, give up, if you don't like it by now, it's just not for you.

This gave me the idea for a new form of music recommendation - basically, suggest one song that, if your friend listens to it and doesn't like it, they can safely disregard the band in question. This is really a mercy towards your friend, freeing them from obligation rather than putting more pop culture in the queue.

The song shouldn't necessarily be the best song, the smash hit - maybe the one that contains the band's most appealing characteristics AND more indulgent flourishes.

Without further ado, Safe Disregard #1: "Like Like The The The Death" by Silver Jews. If you don't like this, don't worry about Silver Jews.


Friday 6 June 2014

Between the Creative Economy and the Economy of Creativity: Resistance and Radical Contingencies

No just kidding, although I have been challenged and enlightened by my odd, not-quite-dialogue with Final Bullet. I had almost 300 page views for my first post and around 40 for the second, I'd like to apologise to all those people. Normal service now resumes.


My mum is staying with us and we've told her about Bath. This is pretty much locked in now. I applied for a job in Bristol on Wednesday night and the recruitment consultant called me back Thursday afternoon. It's a PR agency, we'll see how it goes. Their employee perks include "bar open on Fridays stocked with free beer and cider".

"And cider."

So yeah we're going to give notice on our flat in August and move in with my mum September and October before finding a place in Bath/Bristol in November. I'd really prefer Bath but it's about £145 a month in train fares to commute between the two. Bristol is a great city but I need time and support to deprogramme myself from "I'm not in London, I'm missing out" syndrome - returning to my hometown, my birthright, feels like a natural step as opposed to moving to another city and constantly squinting my eyes in order to make it look like Camberwell.

Anyway I have to go, we're all going to the V&A for some fucking reason. Christ that place is filled to the rafters with "maker culture".

;)

4pm Update: The V&A was heavy. I'm usually pretty impatient in museums, but this time Jess and my mum were going to the exhibitions and I wasn't - I knew I had two hours to kill on my own, no more and no less. Also I didn't have a smartphone. I spent an hour in the first room, the Japan collection, looking at basically every single object. Then I checked out some tapestries in the Britain collection, then the small contemporary photography show by the main entrance. I felt I had the time to do it, there was no better possible thing to be doing under those circumstances, I couldn't sneak out for a cheeky pint or anything, not really anyway.

Thursday 5 June 2014

Brazilian Portuguese phrases for World Cup visitors


GOLDSMITHS COLLEGE EDITION

I know, I know, it's bad.
Eu sei, eu sei, é ruim.

Yes, it was the same before the London Olympics. Many people were displaced.
Sim, era o mesmo antes dos Jogos Olímpicos de Londres. Muitas pessoas foram deslocadas.

I bought my tickets before the protests began. I cannot get a refund.
Eu comprei os meus bilhetes antes que os protestos começaram. Eu não posso obter um reembolso.

Football is the people's game. FIFA are criminals.
O futebol é o jogo das pessoas. FIFA são criminosos.

We are spending our tourist money in independent businesses in the favelas.
Estamos a gastar o nosso dinheiro turística em empresas independentes nas favelas.

We must all work together for a global socialist solution.
Devemos todos trabalhar juntos para uma solução socialista global.

Don't worry, I'll pay for these.
Não se preocupe, eu vou pagar por estes.

Wednesday 4 June 2014

Further unstructured thoughts on making and creativity

This kind of follows on from the last post but one, which was inspired by the Final Bullet post, but I'm unhitching the carriages on this train of thought, this post should in no way be considered as a response, intervention or critique of that post or subsequent FB posts, I'm just going off on my own tangent in light of my own stuff. And it's a dislocated thinking-through, not a step-by-step argument.

Why is creativity good?

I can think of two, non-mutually exclusive reasons.

A] It's intrinsically good, an irreducible component of a good life, in some kind of Aristotelean sense

B] It's instrumentally good, there are always problems to be solved, there are things that really should change and we need creativity for that to happen.

Like I say, these can both be true. Also, from each it follows that we need to nurture spaces for creative people and creative activity, because the logic of capitalism will probably rationalise it away in the process of eating itself. But which kind of spaces, and how?

For-profit creatives and non-profit creatives, something something reciprocity economies

If we mostly follow A], then maybe we arrive at a kind of reciprocal, gift-type economy arrangement where I support your creative thing and you support my creative thing, and thus we are supporting Creativity and alternative, non-commercialised spaces. That sounds cool to me, I think you can probably have that without everything becoming too indulgent and sucky, people can still exercise taste judgements.

If we mostly follow B], then at some point we need to reconcile creative spaces with actual prospects for problem solving or social change. We should keep a very loose hand on the tiller, but there will be an underlying logic of investment and return. Doesn't have to be financial investment and return!! But some sense that the common good will increase, outside of the exercise of creativity for the sake of its own enjoyment. There is a "for-profit" element.

Changing things vs inspiring change

I spoke earlier about the "unanchored optimism" of some in the non-profit creative community. I suppose I mean more that there is often a sense of deferred optimism embedded in the various projects, mash-ups, products, memes. Look at this thing I've made - it will 'suggest new possibilities', 'open up a new way of looking at the world', 'inspire new approaches', 'prompt us to rethink' etc etc. I'm being very broad brush here, but I think this is a common feature. It creates a kind of circularity, or deferment. "Do/look at this creation because creativity".

What kind of creativity does actually change things? Consumer tech. It changes things in mostly banal, sometimes terrible ways, but it unquestionably induces behavioural change among the people exposed to it. It is pushing us towards new forms of social relations - ask anyone who has internet dated. There is a perceived "for-profit" element for the user, even if that profit is literally saving three minutes queuing at Subway by ordering ahead with an app. And from that flows great financial profits to the for-profit creative.

Back to the reciprocal economy

I first started thinking about this after the very funny New York magazine takedown of Brooklyn's faux-hyper-localised culture, described as something like "a borough of 1 million people, part of a 21st century global financial and media capital, pretending that it is an 18th century village". There was a Brooklyn goods store that wouldn't stock Brooklyn Lager because it is made slightly outside of Brooklyn, and an anecdote about a guy wanting to make local Brooklyn pickles but agonising over the question of whether to import cucumbers during the NINE MONTHS OF THE YEAR when they can't be grown in Brooklyn.

Anyway this notion of urban localism seemed interesting - I wondered from an economic standpoint whether it would less ridiculous if taken to its natural conclusion. Sure, all the artisanal stuff seems overpriced, but if we were all artisans selling overpriced stuff to each other, would it not balance out? And then we all escape boring corporate capitalism by creating a new economy through sheer force of will - through a type of Great Refusal?

Almost certainly not for many obvious reasons related to the cost of raw materials. But the thought experiment becomes more interesting when you apply it to the economy of ideas and the economy of attention, where the raw materials are cheaper and more evenly distributed. Can a new economy of creativity be forged, through sheer commitment to the cause of Creativity and opposition to the reductive forces of corporate capitalism, that will operate on non-profit, reciprocal principles and spread creative legitimation and self-actualisation to the many, not the few? What are the barriers to this? What infrastructure has to be in place? What does that commitment look like? Does crowd-funding have something to do with it?

An aside: The Lost Lectures

A while ago I heard about the Lost Lectures, where you pay about £10 in advance and then they announce the venue, lineup etc on the day by text message. I was so excited by the idea I emailed them to be put on the mailing list, and bought tickets within minutes of receiving first ticket alert.

A few days before the event I realised I had been taken in. I was looking on the website at past events, it was all quirky speakers e.g. a man who went around the world interviewing people while they sat in trees. You know, to "gain a different perspective", to "see things differently". I was going to pay for the privilege, just because they'd wrapped some bullshit 'speakeasy', fake-scarcity ribbon around the whole enterprise. Just that week, I'd been for free to a Gresham College lecture where the UK's foremost scholar of Keynesian economics described in detail how classical economists had sewn up the academy and suppressed dissenting schools of thought. That really did make me see things differently! I let my tickets go unused. Tree wanker.

The commodification of inspiration

Is that the barrier? If you're not selling/promoting actual change, actual utility, but possible inspiration towards people's own self-directed, self-created change - a deferred optimism - will people pay money for that? Maybe, in some circumstances. But should they? Or is that against the whole spirit of the thing - should it be reciprocal? I mean, if we're just doing it to mutually reinforce each other, rather than trying to solve a particular problem.

Anyway I warned you that I wasn't going to build a proper argument and I've stayed true to my promise!




Tuesday 3 June 2014

Watching my iPhone 4 die

I got caught in a terrific rainstorm just now and my iPhone 4 got all wet in the pocket of my windbreaker. When I took it out the flash was stuck on - as in, the light on the back is continually shining, like a distress signal.

At first the screen worked normally, but insisted on being shut off (the "slide to shut down" thing appeared unbidden). This happened a couple of times. I left it for a while to dry, but the light kept shining.

For a while the phone became unresponsive - holding down the little button on the top right shoulder didn't do anything. Then, as I was on the train back to New Cross Gate, the screen turned on again - first as a very narrow vertical bar, grey in colour. Then it opened up into a lush blue pattern of vertical stripes, otherworldly and beautiful. I turned it over and the flash light was starting to pulse and fade, like the spirit was leaving the body. I flicked the "silent mode" switch on the left shoulder and saw that the phone was still able to vibrate in response - I did this a couple of times, as though using a defibrillator.

As I got home it suddenly made a text message sound, but the screen was still just a blue pattern, getting darker. It's sitting next to me now, the light still burning brightly in its final moments. I wonder what it is thinking about? Its life must be flashing before its eyes - its 14-year-old mother back in Shenzhen, its adolescence in San Francisco, where it was designed. Losing its eyesight through a scratched lens, and being replaced by a newer model. Shipped off to London for retirement, a period of quarantine before being unlocked by AT&T, and then a couple of years of faithful service before dying in a flat in New Cross.

Obviously this is a massive ball ache, but I feel like it's getting a dignified death.

Monday 2 June 2014

A loose post about makers and making

I've submitted a few things to Leila's projects in the past (hi Leila) and I've followed her career with interest, or more accurately, a kind of morbid fascination, like watching a tightrope walker without a net. I'm not acquainted with anyone else who is forging quite that kind of path - I know plenty of people who are making less money than they could to do something they love (or at least enjoy), but they usually do so within the framework of existing institutions such as charities, think tanks or public sector bodies. I also know people who are unhappy with what they are doing and want to be more "creative", but don't really know how to make the first step - they are just sort of chasing a fevered image in their heads of a better life, without actually working towards it or making sacrifices.

In the same week that I was more or less making peace with the idea of plying my trade in the lower echelons of the Championship, her post on Final Bullet about doubling down on the route she's chosen had a strange, refracted kind of resonance with me. I came across it this morning and have read it several times.

I take a light interest in maker/hacker/art-tech culture, mostly just by reading Boing Boing, those guys all seem to be roughly on the right side, but I find the relentless, unanchored optimism a little wearing. To read someone from that culture take off that mask and lay out so clearly the economic realities of a congested, under-financed culture (the economics of both money and attention), to criticise not just aspects of the culture but themselves, is exhilarating, almost shocking. I don't how other people in that culture react to this kind of writing, maybe it's not as transgressive as it seems to the casual observer, but like I say I've read and reread it.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, I need to get on with my day. There's no conclusion, it's just something that struck me.

EDIT: I should say that the reason I take a light interest in said culture is because it seems to represent some kind of vanguard or frontier (of what, precisely, I'm not sure), and there is interesting stuff happening there.

UPDATE June 3: I see Leila has not just read but linked to this post! Hi Leila - I'm sorry if I breached any sort of internet etiquette by not contacting you directly about writing this, but it's basically just an anonymous blog about my job search / midlife crisis with an intended audience of about four people. It didn't seem appropriate to comment on your blog post because (as you can see above) I don't really have anything substantial to say, other than that the ripples just sort of reached my pond. Anyway take care and all the best.

Sunday 1 June 2014

Godzilla at the Hackney Picturehouse

Went to see this last night, I recommend it! Watched it on a small screen in 3D. I always enjoy 3D for the first 20 mins and then totally forget it's in 3D, my brain just takes it into account.



We walked from Dalston Junction to Mare Street on the way over, along Dalston Lane so I could point out to Jess where the band rehearses. I haven't written about the band yet: basically we rebooted last November after spending three years as a project-y collective very much oriented to recording music on computers. We didn't play live, we couldn't actually play live as I was on both vocal and bass duty and can't physically do both at the same time. We all got a bit fed up with that, it was just a lot of sitting in front of computers and fiddling with music software, and of course we all became bad at our instruments because we weren't playing in a room together very often. So in November I moved to lead guitar and vocals, the rhythm guitarist moved to bass and the lead guitarist moved to a sort of rhythm/lead hybrid. We brought in a guy we know from our old school on drums and we rehearse once a week (annoyingly, on Mondays, which often leads to the "Test Match Special" of drinking on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights). We have six songs and hope we can start playing live soon, just some little gigs in bars would be fun, e.g. the Bird's Nest in Deptford if they will have us. Like a New Jersey bar band, kind of, but sounding like Pavement. But most of all I've just really enjoyed actually playing songs live in the rehearsal room, drinking the obligatory Red Stripe and making a racket, feeling ourselves get tighter and tighter at the songs through practice. It's like the difference between working out every day and doing a token run once a fortnight, I guess.

We're losing a little bit of momentum lately - basically when you write a song in a (our) band:

  • Writing the first 25% feels great, that's the eureka moment where something clicks 
  • The next 25% is quite fun as you improvise and elaborate around the original idea in a loose, non-committal way
  • The next 25% where you start to hone it down is harder work but still satisfying, you are using your experience and musicianship
  • The remaining 25% is then just suddenly a massive ball ache, you disagree a lot more at this stage, little niggling problems just seem impossible to fix (and there might be disagreement about whether a 'part not quite working' is because of the part, or because other people in the band are not playing it properly), and often the original thing that got you all clicking in the first 25% has been changed or no longer has the same impact in the context of the rest of the song and everyone's just a bit tired of it. 

Anyway - we've reached the final 25% on a lot of the songs, and are kind of going in circles. Worryingly, not because we are at each other's throats about how long the solo should be etc., but because everyone is kind of shying away from taking the initiative on pushing forward their ideas for the final 25%, there's a lot of displacement activity. We're a bit older, we just want to have some fun and pursue our own personal musical thing, there's a danger that our relative lack of youthful hunger might see us run out of steam. It definitely felt a bit more vital two months ago, I was actually looking forward to practices for days in advance.

our rehearsal room in Dalston

Speaking of displacement activity, I had no intention of writing this much about the band when I started this post. I have to skip to the end now! I was going to do a whole elegiac thing about walking to Shoreditch High Street via London Fields and Broadway Market and feeling myself come detached from London. But anyway on the way up to the film, we hatched a secret provisional plan to move to Bath at the end of August. We might change our minds so don't tell anyone, we don't want to look stupid. Me and Jess are really bad at announcing plans and then scrapping them. But we will make the final decision on August 1, when we decide whether to give notice on our flat. I have to stress again that this is a secret for now and may change, I'm not supposed to tell anyone but I don't see how I could continue to write this blog without getting it out there, the blog is obviously part of the process getting me there. Don't tell anyone. Especially my mum, she'd be devastated if she thought we were moving and then we didn't. Maybe next week I'll write a blog post about why I changed my mind and am staying in London. This is how rolling news works!

But the job market out there looks reasonably healthy. For some reason the idea of working in comms - even, horror of horrors, for a PR agency - doesn't seem to bother me if it's in Bath or Bristol. I suddenly feel much more relaxed about everything: money, work, the future, everything. My wife can get a dog and I can get a Bath City FC season ticket.

People from Bath joke about it being "the graveyard of ambition". Die without perishing!!